Drinktionary

After a heavy weekend of research, I have decided to compile a list of new words I've coined to help describe the unique world of excess drinking; an alcoholexicon to which you are invited to contribute your own entries.


alco-poptart: a person who will sleep with anything after a few Bacardi Breezers.

blubbly: describing a person who, having drunk too much Champagne, becomes tearfully sentimental or melancholic.

bordeaux-line: the point after which a meal changes from a sophisticated dinner to a blurry wine-fest.

brandicoot: a species native to the region of Cognac, characterised by a curious stumbling gait and indistinct speech.

calvadross: substandard apple brandy served to tourists in Normandy.

cariff-raff: the undesirables who congregate around a newly-ordered pichet of wine.

chardonnaysal: the whiny tone some people affect after a few too many glasses.

dorkscrew: the unfortunate person you end up sleeping with at the end of a bottle-strewn binge.

incaskeration: the unfortunate state of having to drink wine from a box.

grin and tonic: the irrepressible smile caused by the first sip of a desperately-needed drink.

kir crash: the tragic moment when you lose the ability to speak after one too many aperitifs.

k-martini (also wal-martini): the gut-stripping result of mixing cocktails using cheap spirits.

lagerhythm: the complex, unsynchronized series of internal beats to which people dance towards the end of a pub crawl.

sake-asm: the cutting tone used in a sushi restaurant when asked whether another bottle is really such a good idea.

sancerrity: the state in which you tell your friends how much you love them after a couple of litres of white.

slangover: the distressing aftermath of a big night, when the only words that can be found to express the pain are monosyllabic profanities.

vodkarisma: the savoir faire and confidence imparted by a shot of Absolut.