Do you speak Vélib?

It was only a matter of time before someone published a collection of all the new words which have been cleverly coined since the rise of the Vélib phenomenon. Anne Abeillé has put together the Dictionnaire du Vélib to highlight some of the inventive neologisms which have (unofficially) entered the language almost overnight. Some of her favourites: “Vélibation”, meaning a boozy night on the Vélib; “Vélibabouchka”, a Vélib-riding granny; and “Vélibataire”, a single guy on a Vélib (from the French word célibataire, meaning bachelor).

It seems an English version is in the pipeline, so I couldn’t resist adding a few of my own suggestions (in no particular order):

Vélinguist n.
Someone obsessed with the language surrounding and inspired by Vélib.

Vélligerent adj.
Suffering from Vélib Rage. “Don’t get Vélligerent with me, mister. It’s not my fault there are no more bikes left.”

Vélebration n.
Festivities resulting from the opening of a new Vélib station near your home.

Vélincident n.
Any unpleasant occurrence or mishap whilst riding, such as accidentally swiping a parked car.

Vélitigation n.
The potentially unfortunate outcome of a Vélincident.

Ad Vélibber n.
A person who is unsure of their cycle route. Can also be used as a verb: “I don’t have my map with me, I’ll just have to Ad Vélib it.”

Véli Belly n.
The queasy feeling resulting from cycling home after a particularly large meal.

Jellib n.
The state of one’s muscles after riding up a long hill. “That Ménilmontant’s a bitch – my legs have turned to jellib."

Chain Gang n.
A group of delinquent youths who delight in vandalising and damaging innocent Vélibs by pulling the chains loose, for example.

Flat Chat n.
The words exchanged around a Vélib station when determining which bikes have deflated tyres.

Hell’s Bells n.
The painful cacophony of ring-ding-a-lings which betrays a group of excited first-time Vélibbers (Vélib Virgins).

Vélegance n.
The natural style and grace of an experienced Vélibber (a Vélib Veteran) as he or she swipes and swooshes away.